Ricardo Cesar Villanueva: Twenty Years
2024-08-27 22:17:41
Twenty years is a long time for anything. Today, my Dad’s been gone for 20 years. I have always wondered what it would’ve been like if he could’ve stayed. If he could’ve watched us grow up. What kind of relationship we would’ve had. I’ll never know. I’ve had to learn so many things without him. Without his help or advice. I knew I looked up to him and admired him and wanted to be just like him, but I know there were sides to him that I didn’t know. I wish so badly I could’ve learned about them. I wish we could’ve been friends. I’ve thought to myself sometimes if he’d be proud of me. Sometimes I’d tell myself he wouldn’t be. I’ve made so many mistakes. Maybe I wouldn’t have made them if he weren’t here. That’s no excuse. He was a great and fair man. He loved my brother and my mom and myself so much. I remember the last words he said to Austin and me. I’ll never forget. I’ve never heard a bad word uttered about him. I wanted to record a song dedicated to him today, but I think this is better. It was going to be Somewhere Over the Rainbow again. I remember Austin and I were practicing that song in the car for our seventh grade talent show, and we couldn’t hit the low notes haha. That song, will always, hold a special place in my heart. I always think of my Dad whenever I hear it. Sometimes I skip it because it makes me sad. Sometimes I play it because I want to relive the memories. I cannot comprehend that it’s been twenty years, but it has been unfortunately. The question of whether or not he’d be proud; I honestly still don’t know. But I do know that he’d love me no matter what. I just hope I’ll be half as good a dad to Laila. I miss you so much. I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you.
